1st International Be a Lady Day

Yesterday’s post was on the 3rd International Be a Gentleman Day, which had been started up by a few likeminded gentlemen in 2011 who wanted to encourage more men to become gentlemen. As with all ‘International Day of [Something]’ or holidays, this is another annual reminder rather than a one-day event.

In response to the Gentleman Day, one of my Twitter friends, Very Kate Middleton, decided that there ought to be an International Be a Lady Day starting today and occurring every 23 February. Read an excerpt from her blogpost:

Become a Lady, ladies.

We as women – and by women, I mean a society as a whole – have been raised in a generation that man-bashes nearly every day.

Striving to be equal to men so hard that we forget their need to be respected, and let me tell you, when a man feels respected – he will in turn respect you and treat you like the Princess/Duchess or Queen you want to be treated.

It has become second nature to expect men to pander after us and spoil us because we are incredible, sexy, amazing intelligent beings (which we are), but what has fallen by the wayside is a sense of grace, modesty and being a true Lady.

It is this that has truly killed off chivalry.

Why would a man want to treat us like a Lady when we treat him like dirt?

Expecting our men to be Gentlemen requires acting like a lady. It is one of the oldest lessons there is. Treat others as you would expect to be treated yourself.

To celebrate the inauguration of this day, @V_KateMiddleton is having a giveaway of Debrett’s Etiquette for Girls (contest ends on 8 March 2013 at 8PM GMT)!

Now, before you fire your comments on why you think this is an old-fashioned, backward, sexist, women-degrading event or thing to be, let me point out some things:

YES, there are jerks in this world. There’s man-bashing for a reason. Far too many rapists and sexual abusers, assaulters, etc. get away with what they do and/or what they say. On top of that, the women end up bearing the bunt of it. It’s an unfair, patriarchal society we live in. I’m very aware of that. Are those men gentlemen? NO. I personally believe that we’re responsible for our own actions so whether or not they’re punished in this life, they’ll answer for it one day.
Recognise the genuine respectful men in this world. Many of them were most likely raised that way by mothers who wanted to make sure their sons wouldn’t turn out to be jerks. Respect these men and give them some encouragement. Everyone, male or female, needs encouragement.
A gentleman is not defined by birth (rank) or by manners (we’ve probably met 1 or more scoundrels who pretended to be gentlemen by opening doors for us or offering to buy something for us). He may be raised a gentleman but at the end of the day, it is still his choice to be one.
You want a gentleman but you don’t want to be a lady, then make sure he’s not your servant.
Being a lady is not easy. Ballerinas make dancing look easy and painless. As with everything, self-control and discipline is a daily challenge. You have to work at it. When I first started learning how to behave like a lady (because I wanted to be like ‘Princess Diana’, I kept crying and complaining. Now that I’m older, I’ve become a bit lazy and more hotheaded. Suddenly it’s more about me and not about how my words and actions affect others. This is my daily challenge.
You don’t have to be a lady. It’s your choice. He doesn’t have to be a gentleman. That’s his choice.
You want respect as a woman? I ask that you respect me as a lady.